So, this is an entry filled with resolutions. Yes, I will start updating here more often. Yes, I will start cleaning more (okay, maybe that's an iffie one), I will just be. I like that one the best.
Unfortunately, I had a falling out with someone very close to me. As a result, they "turned" everyone from my hometown against me. Imagine how hard it is to walk the streets and knowing everyone glaring at you, "hates" you. The worst part is, the reason isn't even a good one, and they never even wanted to know my side. Then again, because they never even wanted to hear my side of the story makes it as though I wouldn't want to surround myself with people that are ignorant in the fact they only believe one side. I personally can't make a judgment on anything until I know both sides of the story, and even then I can't because if I'm not directly involved in the situation then I don't really know everything. As a result, it makes me want to confront all the bitches, but it's not worth it. I needed to vent, rant, get this off my chest.
I never did anything directly to these people, but they feel as though I've hurt someone near and dear to them. High School Drama 102, seriously? I thought we all graduated High School Drama 101 and were finished, but apparently there's a whole major in that. I guess I'm not worth it enough to these people to get to know my side. Not only that, I know the person that turned the people against me only likes to surround themselves with yes people. I don't do that. I have many friends, and not one friend I know would merely take my side just to take my side. They always want to know the other side. I can honestly say I never make the other person out to be a monster like they claim. Of course, I'm going to tell a story as I see it. However, I always put myself in the other person's shoes and tell it like that as well. I don't censor or hide the bad actions I've done, I tell them. "Well, this is what happened, but in turn I did this...." Even my parents don't just take my side because I'm their daughter. Sometimes it sucks, but I'm grateful. I'm glad that the people close to me don't just yes me to death because it's supposedly what I want to hear, because it's not. I want to hear the truth. "Does this dress look okay on me?" Please answer honestly. I have the friends that will either say, "Yeah, it does!" or "No, man, god no!" It can be harsh at times, but guess what? Life's a harsh place.
So more or less, I just wanted to write this and say Fuck you to a certain someone and a fuck you to all those followers of his. I don't ever wish bad upon anyone, but of course bad things are wished upon me constantly. I'm just a chick working her way though life. I get no financial support from my parents, I work a full time job, I pay rent, utilities, tuition, et cetera. I have two dogs that I have to take care of, pay their vet bills... the works. I'm not saying I have it worse than anyone else, because I love life and I know other people have it worse, but to me this affects me. Anyway, life can be stressful. As to be expected. I am human too. I have wants and desires. Sometimes I can't help how I feel, I don't think anyone can quite control their emotions or maybe they can? I like being a free butterfly. I know I've done bad things, but I've done a lot of good things too, I'm sure I'll still do bad and good things, but does that make me a darn awful person or does it just make me human like everyone else?
Put yourself in my shoes.
It's okay, I know you don't want to, Why's that? I'm bitter, jaded, a mess, but I sure as hell put a smile on my face and act as though life is the greatest thing ever, because you know why? Despite all the bad, it is! Without life, is nothing, and gosh darn it. Always take something over nothing.